Posts Tagged ‘White House

21
May
08

Obama/Clinton 2008: You Complete Me

Photo by Chris Livingston

Barack Obama in Florida, 5/21/08
Photo by Chris Livingston

He takes one state, she takes the next. He reaches the younger voter. She reaches the older voter, and especially women. Exit polls show that many Dems like them both equally, but had to choose someone, so they voted for one or the other. Well, soon they won’t have to choose. While it won’t be as tear-stained and ushy-gushy as Jerry Maguire, you can still imagine it: “We live in a cynical world, a cynical world, and we work in a business of tough competitors…” Continue reading ‘Obama/Clinton 2008: You Complete Me’

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07
Jan
08

The Presidential Candidates from Central Casting

Reading in bedWe like our Presidents to look like they came from central casting. Mitt Romney looks like every filmic President you’ve ever seen. Five years of White House stress and anxiety will put a Charlie Sheen weariness on his face like nothing else, and don’t you think he’s not counting on that. We also like them to be aging jocks, hunky daddies even, still married to aging, MILFy cheerleaders, both still fit enough for us to be able to squint and revisit their beauty, if only for a moment. We particularly love the big, seemingly cloned family, which somehow reassures us that there will always be lots of American varsity wet dream goo in our gene pool.

On that note, Bill Clinton has the hunky daddy thing down cold, and if that plainly phallic nose isn’t enough to set one speculating on size, one need only recall the sticky blue dress to be reminded of the Clinton virility. So far, those of us firmly in the Daddy Clinton camp have longed for those days so much that we transferred our lust onto the slightly dowdy, PE teacheresque Hillary. Sam and I really came to this realization this past weekend, when she got her ass handed to her by Obama. But no matter, because Mrs. Rodham is smart, good at volleyball, and no matter how quirky the ol’ gal was, we know that we owe a portion of our present health to something she instilled in us long ago when we were young and impressionable. Continue reading ‘The Presidential Candidates from Central Casting’




Billy’s Sorted Past

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