Posts Tagged ‘straight


Your Sex Tool Box, Part 2 – The Intermediate Stuff

Okay, so now you have your tool box ready to go with the basic stuff. What’s in your tool box is up to you of course, as an expression of your individuality, but here are a few suggestions.

A Leather Blindfold
This is by far the most valuable item in the box. Sensory deprivation is Continue reading ‘Your Sex Tool Box, Part 2 – The Intermediate Stuff’


Your Sex Tool box, Part 1 – The Basics

There’s an ominous looking black steel tool box in our bedroom. We bought it to centralize all the sex stuff and free up some space in our nightstands. It’s locked so that anything inside doesn’t scare the cleaning lady. It’s the sex toolbox, and you should have one.

Choose a good-sized tool box, because once you start with this it’s going to be fun and you’re going to need space. Choose metal. Plastic toolboxes may interact with lubes, poppers, and dildos the way rubber worms used to melt into the trays of that tackle box you had as a kid. Make sure you have a home for it that is convenient and practical. Buy some felt dots for the bottom of it if you have hardwood floors. Trust me. Here’s what goes in it: Continue reading ‘Your Sex Tool box, Part 1 – The Basics’


Hot Chicks with Douchebags

db2170-734052.jpgNo, it’s not a photo essay on feminine hygiene. It’s one of the funniest and most necessary websites I’ve seen in a long while. What possesses straight guys to stick out their tongues and make gang signs when a camera appears? What is a Bleeth? Why do these girls seem so oblivious?

Are these the loins to which civilization entrusts its birthright?

The horror.

See for yourself.


Ladies: Tim Ferriss is the Modern Man… and Single.

Tim Ferriss DancingTim Ferriss is kind of a big deal. Just ask him, or Sam. Sam is very single-threaded about Tim Ferriss right now. He’s the modern Prince of outsourcing, and evidently a good kisser. In much the same way as America has outsourced millions of jobs to countries with citizens who will happily work for peanuts, Tim outsources his life, and not just his work life, even dating:

“I hired virtual teams of people all over the world… to compete against each other and set dates for me on an online calendar… and there would be a $150 bonus to whichever team set the most good dates.“

There is nothing that money can’t buy. Finding a “date manager” to set up dates, and paying the guy a commission for each date he goes on. Why is this not the second oldest profession? Dating can be hell, especially for busy, high-value bucks like Tim Ferriss, but I say there is something to enjoying the process, meeting interesting (and not so interesting) people, maybe even making some platonic friends, and not being simply focused on the goal. Maybe I’m just luckier at love, since I’m happily married to Sam, a genuine all-around. So anyway back to Tim. Evidently the date managers filled up his datebook pretty quickly, because later he made an online appeal to his readers to come up with the best date ideas for under $500, and in return for readers’ romantic ideas, he generously offered some copies of his book to give as Christmas gifts – “some of them autographed.”

Hell, if it works out, I’m sure he knows exactly whom to hire in South Africa to find the best Kimberley diamond and ship it to Israel to be cut and set by the finest jewelers. This guy has it down. Then on to the wedding planner…

But this modern man doesn’t stop there. Tim’s most recent tentpole is the reclamation of the masculine ideal, or at least the reclamation of an article about the masculine ideal, is one “outsourced” from Esquire, entitled “Why I Started Punching Jerks Again,” and aiming to bring back the golden age of manly men with passages like:

“I think a little fisticuffs would do most men a world of good, giving options to the masses who put up with too much, consequences to loudmouthed idiots who would then think twice, and a release valve to a gender that otherwise comes up with far worse things to do to men, women, wives, and children.”

It’s interesting reading that really made me question why I’m not letting my dukes do more of the talking, and I think I even got a little aroused. But I digress. This topic really hits home with Tim, who describes himself:

“Born premature and small throughout school, I was on the receiving end of hazing for more than a decade, but I put up a good fight. Being small didn’t mean I couldn’t operate in a world with a line that, once crossed, meant you had to put up or shut up.”

I totally get it. Think Scrappy-Doo. Being held just beyond swinging distance with a hand to your forehead has to suck. I had a very similar experience, being called ‘fag’ pretty much daily through middle and high school, but again I must have been lucky, because never once did it ever come to blows, and actually I wound up befriending and non-violently winning the respect of every bully who ever gave me a hard time. Literally every one. No cowering. No forfeiture of lunch money. No fisticuffs. I believe nice guys finish first.

Maybe it’s because I was always tall, like Scooby-Doo, that I fared better, or maybe it was when they realized I was friends with all the hot girls, and could make introductions. No matter what it was, it’s just another part of my life for which I’m grateful.

I can’t imagine why Tim Ferriss hasn’t found the right woman (and he’s very, very clear about his ‘ladies only’ dating policy). I mean, he’s skilled in wrestling and ballroom dancing, has a degree from Princeton, a book on the NYT bestseller list, is a Glycemic Index researcher (so he can help you with your diet), an MTV breakdancer in Taiwan, an actor on a hit TV series in mainland China, he’s kinda hot, and knows how to throw down if you get disrespected.


Wardrobe Makeover Follow-up

Neil (scoring) on Valleywag

On 12/11, I responded to an email from Neil, a newly single guy who is getting back out into the dating world, and revamping his look. That’s him, above, scoring with the hottie in the cheongsan and anime boots. I think the grin says it all.

So, phase two for Lovesick Billy 🙂

  1. Picked up some used, slightly trendy denim in SF. $20.
  2. Used a classic cut navy blazer I already had.
  3. Instead of Zappos, bought a pair of Clark’s. $120 with tax. Dark brown. Damn comfortable.
  4. Mix with tucked white Oxford with good, casual brown belt.
  5. Trimmed the goatee down to about 1/4″ long and did away with lots of hair at Carlton’s.
  6. Lost the glasses to new contacts (these new contact lens materials are amazing!!!).

Still working on it, but I’m starting to see a visual ‘signature’ emerging.

It’s all good.

The best part? Went to buddy’s company’s Xmas party Friday night. I got lots of attention from the ladies. The take away? The girls like me, but the clothes are what got me noticed in the first place.

Finally, it’s time for a little more fun 🙂


Billy’s Sorted Past

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