Posts Tagged ‘MILF

03
Sep
08

The Real Last Word on Sarah Palin

It’s time to stop talking about Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin may not share beliefs with much of the country, and that’s just fine.  She has her hands full with a special needs child, a pregnant teen, and an investigation into her conduct, all of which she’s certain to survive.  It’s okay, because at 44 – by political standards – she’s just a kid.  Her day will come.  Just not this year.

Governor Palin is formidable: a smart, congenial, accomplished woman, passionate about her country.  Continue reading ‘The Real Last Word on Sarah Palin’

29
Aug
08

Sarah Palin and the McCain / McMILF 2008 Ticket

It’s official.  John McCain’s taste in beautiful women is impeccable.

John McCain has chosen MILF Sarah Palin to share the GOP ticket.

Who?

A neo-con, short-term governor of Alaska, who I think appeared in ZZ Top’s “Legs” video in the 80s.  I didn’t think it made sense until I dug in about the voting records of other possible Rep women: the incredibly capable Elizabeth Dole would seem a good, seasoned choice, but being just as old as McCain, might not instill us with much confidence.  Lisa Murkowski, also GOP and Alaskan, has served on committees for energy, parks, education, and foreign relations and is candid about her eagerness to drill for oil, but she’s too moderate on abortion.  Ditto Kay Hutchison on abortion.  Ditto Susan Collins on abortion.  Olympia Snowe reaches across the aisle too much, working with Dems to minimize Bush’s tax cuts, and disagreeing here and there about Iraq.  Elizabeth Joyce is too busy answering hate mail and being courted for her vote.  So that leaves right-wing MILF, Sarah Palin.

I’m not sure when the GOP became the Dukes of Hazzard, but nonetheless, here’s the nutshell read on the schizophrenic nature of this NRA gun-toting beauty queen and VP candidate. Continue reading ‘Sarah Palin and the McCain / McMILF 2008 Ticket’

10
Jan
08

The Girls with Whom I’ve Had Sex

bpchair_solo.jpg

A blonde babysitter, 17, once when I was 12.

A redheaded girlfriend, 17, for a year, starting when I was 16.

A blonde college junior, 20, twice when I was 15 (we’d kissed when I was 13, and she was 18, but it was weird, for her).

A redheaded girlfriend, 16, endlessly at 16, for about four years, into college, some breaks, and once we had sex three feet from her sleeping sister, 15, blonde, but no, the sister didn’t get involved. She didn’t even wake up.

My girlfriend’s sister’s best girl friend, blonde, 15, twice at 16. (My girlfriend’s best boy friend, blond, 16, every two or three weeks, from 16-17.)

Two girls with the same name, at the same time, both 18, blonde and the first redheaded girlfriend above, a handful of times at 17. The blonde is now a lesbian. The redhead is now an Evangelical Christian who uses her faith to perpetuate hate.

Four girls from my high school I used to photograph, 16-18, regularly when I was 17, although I never photographed them nude.

Continue reading ‘The Girls with Whom I’ve Had Sex’

07
Jan
08

The Presidential Candidates from Central Casting

Reading in bedWe like our Presidents to look like they came from central casting. Mitt Romney looks like every filmic President you’ve ever seen. Five years of White House stress and anxiety will put a Charlie Sheen weariness on his face like nothing else, and don’t you think he’s not counting on that. We also like them to be aging jocks, hunky daddies even, still married to aging, MILFy cheerleaders, both still fit enough for us to be able to squint and revisit their beauty, if only for a moment. We particularly love the big, seemingly cloned family, which somehow reassures us that there will always be lots of American varsity wet dream goo in our gene pool.

On that note, Bill Clinton has the hunky daddy thing down cold, and if that plainly phallic nose isn’t enough to set one speculating on size, one need only recall the sticky blue dress to be reminded of the Clinton virility. So far, those of us firmly in the Daddy Clinton camp have longed for those days so much that we transferred our lust onto the slightly dowdy, PE teacheresque Hillary. Sam and I really came to this realization this past weekend, when she got her ass handed to her by Obama. But no matter, because Mrs. Rodham is smart, good at volleyball, and no matter how quirky the ol’ gal was, we know that we owe a portion of our present health to something she instilled in us long ago when we were young and impressionable. Continue reading ‘The Presidential Candidates from Central Casting’




Billy’s Sorted Past

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