Posts Tagged ‘Gun Oil


Sex party with Alan Ritchson

Okay, it was a dream. It didn’t happen, but it almost felt like it did. I probably shouldn’t be telling you about this, but I had the dream, or should I say, experience, last night. Sam and I had just bought a new convertible Mercedes-Benz and we went to Blythe‘s parents’ house in Miami. I know it was her parents’ house because it was full of Le Corbusier furniture, all in black.

Alan had brought a cadre of mostly naked bubble-butted boys with him, and they lounged about the Le Corbusier. One of them put a Martha White flour sack full of cocaine on the kitchen counter. I told Blythe it was flour and that I suddenly felt like doing some baking, so I put some of it in a bowl and added water and eggs. Everyone in attendance brought their tiny dog, and the constant corralling of the pack of them was holding up the fun. Preposterous. Continue reading ‘Sex party with Alan Ritchson’


Men Don’t Self-Lubricate Like Women Do

Everything I needed to know about sex I DIDN’T learn from porn. In fact, some of what I learned from porn has done me a disservice, and probably you as well. This WTF series is dedicated to debunking stuff about sex.

spit doesn’t make sufficient lube.

In porn, scenes last for dozens of minutes and you just about never see a lube job, unless of course there’s a product placement deal in place. This is one of the wonders of editing. This might lead some to believe that a little spit will do the trick; for some who like it dry, it will, but most prefer a little more glide in their ride. I’m mostly talking about man on man sex, but this info applies to the man/woman variety as well, especially with the increase in hetero “back yard” play. Continue reading ‘Men Don’t Self-Lubricate Like Women Do’


Getting Screwed Buying Lube

gunoil32oz_l.gifSam and I are huge fans of Gun Oil personal lubricants, not only for their intended use, but also for our hair. We’d bought one of those hair silk products that promises smoothness and shine, and while using it, Sam said, “Hey, this feels just like lube.”

I think we were in San Francisco for Folsom when we ran out of the hair stuff but had plenty of lube on hand (snicker)… so into the hair it went, and worked beautifully: silky, shiny, and really handy if the mood spontaneously took us. We compared the ingredients and they were more or less identical: Cyclomethicone, Dimethicone, Aloe Vera, and Vitamin E.


Then we wondered which of the two was more expensive by the ounce, the hair stuff or the other stuff, to inform our buying decisions, and here’s the result. Continue reading ‘Getting Screwed Buying Lube’

Billy’s Sorted Past

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