Posts Tagged ‘coming out


Define Yourself Above the Waist: A Primer for Coming Out

I know a lot of people struggle with ‘the closet’. I know that coming out can be a very big deal, and certainly, coming out in a small town is very different than coming out in a major metropolitan area, where the LGBT help make the city tick, but a lot of these blogs are written by men in NYC, LA, Chicago, Miami, where we gays aren’t a novelty. Just the same, the writers act as if they’re the first homo on Earth, and nobody else could possibly understand how difficult it is for them. Bullshit. We’ve all done it.

I’d like to offer some unsolicited coaching.

Continue reading ‘Define Yourself Above the Waist: A Primer for Coming Out’


I am happily aberrant.

I was standing at the urinal today, when a funny thought crossed my mind: I sleep with, and am married to a man.

I know, I know. Obvious. Stupid even.

If the most important, innate desire of an animal is to reproduce itself, I’m putting my goo in the wrong places – every chance I get. A lot of people have a problem with that, including the first girl I put my goo in. I cast her out of my life because she thinks God is an angry thug, but I digress.

Nonetheless, she thinks I’m a perversion, a defective, mis-wired human being, whose most basic drive is flawed. Except I’m not. I know exactly where to put my goo if I wish to reproduce, and the blessing is that if and when I do it, I’ll be doing it purposefully. After all, reproduction is not love, and love is not reproduction, even though there are many handy examples of people who believe the words are interchangeable. Continue reading ‘I am happily aberrant.’


Coming Out

Major love goes out to Luke MacFarlane, talented actor in Brothers & Sisters, (and allegedly Wentworth Miller‘s boyfriend); and Azariah Southworth, host of The Remix, a popular Christian youth show, for making their separate coming out announcements today. Well done, guys. You’re hot.

Continue reading ‘Coming Out’


The Guys With Whom I’ve Had Sex

brucela-27color.jpgI leafed endlessly through the men’s underwear section of the Sears catalog when I was 3. I recall it perfectly.

When I was 12, I loved a man, 33, who was doing me a lot of damage; our ‘relationship’ lasted 6 years.

I seduced a football player and a wrestler from my high school when I was 16. The wrestler, probably on steroids because he was impossibly muscular for 17, was big and gruff looking. He took to wine coolers and back rubs very, very quickly, and it wasn’t long before he discovered how much he loved getting ‘pinned’. Last I heard, he was a cop in Atlanta.

I found my high school quarterback’s sneakers in his gym locker and stole them. I returned them in his home mailbox, slightly more used. He wore them the rest of the semester.

I discovered my insane fascination with blonds thanks to a handsome 16 year old Swedish friend who was covered with blond fur, and had a Dad who looked just like him. His Dad didn’t like underwear. Shawn and I hung out in our boxers a lot, but there’s no more to tell. He was genuinely never into it, and I think genuinely fine that I was. He was really kind. He’s a fireman now.

I had a secret boyfriend in high school who died accidentally while experimenting with shooting up Valium. Continue reading ‘The Guys With Whom I’ve Had Sex’


Why Coming Out Should Be No Big Deal. Really.

I’d like to see Larry Craig come honestly, definitively clean about his sexual orientation, but really it’s none of my business. Three people need to worry about what Larry Craig is doing with his cock: Larry Craig, Mrs. Craig, and whomever’s immediately present when he’s got it out and ready for business. The rest of us just need to butt out.

Chad, a dear, departed friend of mine once said, “My cock is my fate.” It’s a powerful statement (especially when you consider that he died of AIDS). Apply this to anyone whose sexuality is in question: Tom Cruise, Larry Craig, some friend, or even yourself.

Continue reading ‘Why Coming Out Should Be No Big Deal. Really.’

Billy’s Sorted Past

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