Posts Tagged ‘blue

19
Jun
08

The Birth of Your Sexual Type

I recently learned that the orgasm is a powerful tool for classical conditioning; a tool that you already use effectively to shape your own behavior, whether you realize it or not.

It goes something like this: as a teen, you find some hot photo of a blond guy, wearing camos and a white t-shirt, and it gets you aroused. New to this, it doesn’t take you long to rub one out, and when you do, your eyes happen to settle on a specific part of the model: the tight t-shirt, the buttocks, whatever. The next time you bring out the pinup you (consciously or subconsciously) remember that you came when we focused on that part, so you do it again and, voilá. Pounding ’em out over the blond with the killer ass in the cargos works for you.

The next thing you know you’re online looking for military porn. You find it, and you rub one out real good, and this time you notice the girth of his tan, blond-furred calves tapering down into white socks and combat boots, and POW! You get it right between the eyes. Continue reading ‘The Birth of Your Sexual Type’

07
Jan
08

The Presidential Candidates from Central Casting

Reading in bedWe like our Presidents to look like they came from central casting. Mitt Romney looks like every filmic President you’ve ever seen. Five years of White House stress and anxiety will put a Charlie Sheen weariness on his face like nothing else, and don’t you think he’s not counting on that. We also like them to be aging jocks, hunky daddies even, still married to aging, MILFy cheerleaders, both still fit enough for us to be able to squint and revisit their beauty, if only for a moment. We particularly love the big, seemingly cloned family, which somehow reassures us that there will always be lots of American varsity wet dream goo in our gene pool.

On that note, Bill Clinton has the hunky daddy thing down cold, and if that plainly phallic nose isn’t enough to set one speculating on size, one need only recall the sticky blue dress to be reminded of the Clinton virility. So far, those of us firmly in the Daddy Clinton camp have longed for those days so much that we transferred our lust onto the slightly dowdy, PE teacheresque Hillary. Sam and I really came to this realization this past weekend, when she got her ass handed to her by Obama. But no matter, because Mrs. Rodham is smart, good at volleyball, and no matter how quirky the ol’ gal was, we know that we owe a portion of our present health to something she instilled in us long ago when we were young and impressionable. Continue reading ‘The Presidential Candidates from Central Casting’




Billy’s Sorted Past

Technorati Authority

In you I find proof...

  • 558,041