Archive for the 'Cars' Category


I’m Breaking Up with My Car

I love cars. I’ve had about 20 of them, so this isn’t an easy break up, but premium gas in Los Angeles has hit $5.00 a gallon, plus places at around $4.75, and regular unleaded shows at $4.60.

From what I’ve read, this is the beginning of the end of the oil age, and the US will finally pay the same price for gas that they do in Europe, which would put it around $9.00 a gallon. Nonetheless, Angelenos are still driving with a vengeance. A woman alone in her Escalade blew my doors off on the freeway just this morning, and I was going 70. Some punk flying solo in a Z4 crossed illegally into the car pool lane to pass the static traffic I was in so that he could cut to the front. It feels like the last hurrah. To see more than one person in a car in Los Angeles is really not the norm, not even in the car pool (HOV) lane. Continue reading ‘I’m Breaking Up with My Car’


High Gas Prices and Higher MPG in Los Angeles

I drive a 2006 Honda Element: hands-down one of the worst choices I’ve ever made – oh, and it’s 4WD for the many times Sam and I head into the mountains to go snowboarding. I think it’s been once.

The 2006 Element showed 22/26 on the sticker. Hey, it was 2006, it felt very “designy” and I was rehabbing a house. They offered me a new Honda Insight, which I passed up because it was too small to carry a dog and a passenger, or anything from Home Depot, other than paint. It was $15K. (Idiot.)

So I jumped prematurely out of a shorter lease on a silver 2005 Honda S2000 and into a three and a half year lease on the Element. I plead temporary insanity. The dealership had the S2000 sold before I even handed them over the keys. BTW, even with the abysmal 22/25 mileage, that car was more fun than a pack of A&F models on Ecstasy. Well, almost. Continue reading ‘High Gas Prices and Higher MPG in Los Angeles’


Simple Tips for Buying Cars

I’ve been driving for about 25 years, and I’ve owned almost as many cars, so here’s some basic stuff I’ve learned about the car acquisition process. Continue reading ‘Simple Tips for Buying Cars’


An Oldie But a Goodie: The Gay Hyundai Commercial

Looking online for economical cars this week put me back in touch with this adorable French Hyundai commercial.  It’s not new; it’s just fun.  Have a great weekend.


Hummers are for Guys with Small Cocks

Leave it to the French to finally say what people around the world have only thought. Hummers are for guys with small cocks. If I’m wrong, prove it. Send me a picture of yourself standing next to your Hummer. Block out your face, and whip it out for the camera – and it had better be huge.

Include a line in the email saying I can publish it, because I will.

‘A 4×4 isn’t anything but a substitute for a penis!’ laughs one of France’s infamous ‘Deflators’. ‘A car which consumes a lot, a luxury, an accessory, Continue reading ‘Hummers are for Guys with Small Cocks’

Billy’s Sorted Past

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