Archive for the '612 Human physiology' Category

06
Jun
08

I am happily aberrant.

I was standing at the urinal today, when a funny thought crossed my mind: I sleep with, and am married to a man.

I know, I know. Obvious. Stupid even.

If the most important, innate desire of an animal is to reproduce itself, I’m putting my goo in the wrong places – every chance I get. A lot of people have a problem with that, including the first girl I put my goo in. I cast her out of my life because she thinks God is an angry thug, but I digress.

Nonetheless, she thinks I’m a perversion, a defective, mis-wired human being, whose most basic drive is flawed. Except I’m not. I know exactly where to put my goo if I wish to reproduce, and the blessing is that if and when I do it, I’ll be doing it purposefully. After all, reproduction is not love, and love is not reproduction, even though there are many handy examples of people who believe the words are interchangeable. Continue reading ‘I am happily aberrant.’

23
May
08

Hillary Clinton Has Lost Her Cotton-Picking Mind

“We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California.”

The high in Sioux Falls, SD was only 63 yesterday, so she isn’t crazy from the heat. The ongoing stress of the campaign? Lack of nookie? Freudian slip? What else would have made Hillary depart utterly from sanity and good taste and infer that she might still have a shot if somebody had one for Obama?

Let’s be honest, it’s the great big elephant in the room. We’ve all worried about it, or at least I have, but I’m not running for office.

Maybe W will learn how to spell the word now. Ass. Ass. I. Nation.
Not even he could get that wrong.

Continue reading ‘Hillary Clinton Has Lost Her Cotton-Picking Mind’

07
May
08

A Frank IM About The Prostate

The following is an actual IM conversation I had today with one of my dearest friends, a straight, married woman living in the heartland, who shall remain nameless 😉

Okay, insane question for you: what exactly is a prostate gland
and why do you have one but I do not?

isn’t there the internet for this?

Are you sending me to wikipedia? Continue reading ‘A Frank IM About The Prostate’

24
Apr
08

How Is A Man’s Thumb Like His Penis?

I have a longstanding hypothesis about the correlation between a man’s thumb (or big toe) and his penis, specifically a similarity in shape:

  • the degree of pointiness or squareness of the tip of the thumb indicating an approximation of the tip of the penis
  • the width of the first knuckle as compared to the width of the space an inch behind the head
  • the litheness or meatiness of the space between the knuckle and the hand (or foot)

Continue reading ‘How Is A Man’s Thumb Like His Penis?’




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