Archive for the 'coming out' Category

16
Jun
08

Define Yourself Above the Waist: A Primer for Coming Out

I know a lot of people struggle with ‘the closet’. I know that coming out can be a very big deal, and certainly, coming out in a small town is very different than coming out in a major metropolitan area, where the LGBT help make the city tick, but a lot of these blogs are written by men in NYC, LA, Chicago, Miami, where we gays aren’t a novelty. Just the same, the writers act as if they’re the first homo on Earth, and nobody else could possibly understand how difficult it is for them. Bullshit. We’ve all done it.

I’d like to offer some unsolicited coaching.

Continue reading ‘Define Yourself Above the Waist: A Primer for Coming Out’

29
Jan
08

Gay American Heroes

Sean Kennedy

“So who knows what’s around the corner or down the street. I’m just gonna live life and find out.” -Sean William Kennedy

This past weekend is one that Sam and I had been anticipating for a while, but boy, did it play out differently than we expected. Chip Arndt had asked us some time ago to serve as co-chairs for his event: “Silence the Hate” a benefit for the Gay American Heroes Foundation, at East West in West Hollywood.

You know the drill, no matter how noble, on these kinds of things. It’s a charity you can get behind with a message you support, and you call in your connections and favors all over town to pack the house, and line the worthy cause’s coffers with much-needed resources. You make sure you look great (and we felt good about that having prepped for a season of events 1, 2, 3), then you show up to the event, have a few drinks with your friends, take photos, talk about the charity and what they’re doing, etc., until the goals have been wildly surpassed and a great time had by all. Continue reading ‘Gay American Heroes’

10
Jan
08

The Girls with Whom I’ve Had Sex

bpchair_solo.jpg

A blonde babysitter, 17, once when I was 12.

A redheaded girlfriend, 17, for a year, starting when I was 16.

A blonde college junior, 20, twice when I was 15 (we’d kissed when I was 13, and she was 18, but it was weird, for her).

A redheaded girlfriend, 16, endlessly at 16, for about four years, into college, some breaks, and once we had sex three feet from her sleeping sister, 15, blonde, but no, the sister didn’t get involved. She didn’t even wake up.

My girlfriend’s sister’s best girl friend, blonde, 15, twice at 16. (My girlfriend’s best boy friend, blond, 16, every two or three weeks, from 16-17.)

Two girls with the same name, at the same time, both 18, blonde and the first redheaded girlfriend above, a handful of times at 17. The blonde is now a lesbian. The redhead is now an Evangelical Christian who uses her faith to perpetuate hate.

Four girls from my high school I used to photograph, 16-18, regularly when I was 17, although I never photographed them nude.

Continue reading ‘The Girls with Whom I’ve Had Sex’

07
Jan
08

This Woman’s Work

I’m lucky to have a truly remarkable relationship with my Mother. It’s so good that lately, I’ve gone from being to-the-bone grateful to feeling a little guilty.

Sam’s relationship with his Mom is strained, at best. The two of them are master fishermen who have created a knotted net so finely crafted, nothing can escape it alive – not even their own relationship.

Here’s the fresh catch, from my POV:
Sam was raised LDS as a small child until his parents divorced, and shortly thereafter. There was a brief second marriage, to a man who was apparently more smitten (and indeed questionably) with Sam than with his Mother. They divorced. The real irony here is that in some space between, Sam led his Mother to Jesus. A single Mother desperately trying to provide her son and herself with a stable family unit, she remarried, this time to a Catholic. The man adopted Sam, and made them adopt Catholicism, and then sired a child of his own: a half-brother to Sam. In spite of Sam’s Mother’s best intentions, Sam’s second-class stepchild status was made abundantly clear to Sam on various occasions. Add to this Sam’s burgeoning awareness of his being gay, and you have not only a great first act, but a recipe for disaster.

Continue reading ‘This Woman’s Work’

07
Dec
07

Why Coming Out Should Be No Big Deal. Really.

I’d like to see Larry Craig come honestly, definitively clean about his sexual orientation, but really it’s none of my business. Three people need to worry about what Larry Craig is doing with his cock: Larry Craig, Mrs. Craig, and whomever’s immediately present when he’s got it out and ready for business. The rest of us just need to butt out.

Chad, a dear, departed friend of mine once said, “My cock is my fate.” It’s a powerful statement (especially when you consider that he died of AIDS). Apply this to anyone whose sexuality is in question: Tom Cruise, Larry Craig, some friend, or even yourself.

Continue reading ‘Why Coming Out Should Be No Big Deal. Really.’




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