19
Jul
08

10 Things I Should Have Been Taught in High School

  1. Fools usually want to be fooled.
  2. The road to hell is paved with credit cards.
  3. Exercise and flossing are a pain in the ass, but they beat obesity and food through a straw.
  4. Go to college. Period. It makes up for the shitty education you got in grade school, and besides, you’re not as grown-up as you think you are.
  5. It’s up to you, and not your parents, what you major in, compete in, and put your dick in.
  6. Trust your instincts, and hone them with the mistakes you make by not trusting them.
  7. Buy real estate, when possible. In 1994, when the owner of the condo I was renting (four miles from the beach, in Naples, Florida) offered to sell it to me, I passed, because $68,000 sounded like a lot of money. I didn’t know you got twenty years to pay for it. I shudder to think of what it’s worth now.
  8. Drugs can be fun and deadly. That’s what they say about serial killers, too.
  9. Don’t be a sucker for planned obsolescence. Pay more for well-designed, well-made things of which you won’t grow weary and replace again and again. Learn what “classic” really means.
  10. Always take a chance on love, and if it keeps going horribly, re-read #1.
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5 Responses to “10 Things I Should Have Been Taught in High School”


  1. 1 prometheustherebel
    Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    Well said.

  2. Saturday, July 19, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    11. Don’t hit them with a spoon when you can hit them with a shovel.

    mom

  3. 3 Jake
    Sunday, July 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm

    So true, especially #5 & 6.

  4. 4 waltzinexile
    Monday, July 21, 2008 at 8:04 am

    12. Re: mousse, more better 🙂

  5. 5 waltzinexile
    Monday, July 21, 2008 at 9:20 am

    What happened to my “is not equal to” symbol up there…?!?!


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