Your Sex Tool box, Part 1 – The Basics

There’s an ominous looking black steel tool box in our bedroom. We bought it to centralize all the sex stuff and free up some space in our nightstands. It’s locked so that anything inside doesn’t scare the cleaning lady. It’s the sex toolbox, and you should have one.

Choose a good-sized tool box, because once you start with this it’s going to be fun and you’re going to need space. Choose metal. Plastic toolboxes may interact with lubes, poppers, and dildos the way rubber worms used to melt into the trays of that tackle box you had as a kid. Make sure you have a home for it that is convenient and practical. Buy some felt dots for the bottom of it if you have hardwood floors. Trust me. Here’s what goes in it:

If you’re using them, make sure you have the right fit. One of the big reasons guys don’t like rubbers is that bigger guys feel constricted (and risk breakage) and smaller guys have too much slack which gets wrinkly and irritating. So rather than have an uncomfortable experience, go to the sex shop and get the right fit. Also, choose polyurethane condoms, because they are better at conducting body heat than latex. When you get ’em, make a tiny cut in the edge of the wrapper, without breaking the seal, to give yourself a place to easily tear the wrapper when the time comes. Nothing kills wood more than gnawing on a stubborn condom wrapper. They fit nicely in the top tray of your toolbox.

First, make sure the lube you’re using is the right one for the job. Make sure it’s condom safe and appropriate for the kind of play you’ll be having. Stroke 29 is great for manual action, because it starts out a little gooey and then liquefies with friction. Some like Boy Butter for rear-ends, but I’ve found it to be a little thin, forcing you to use the whole tub, which is great marketing, but hell on your wallet. The best thing about these jarred lubes is that they fit in the bottom of the toolbox without leaking like bottles do. Speaking of bottles, get a travel sized lube of your choice and use that for the tool box. They’re less likely to lie on their side and leak. Fill it up with the economy size if you like, and even put it in a ziploc baggie, like you do when you’re traveling.

Anesthetic Cream or Gel
This is the mark of a pro, and a worthy investment. A little dab of an anesthetic like Anal-Eze along with some other pre-penetration lube will really grease the skids, so to speak. It lightly numbs the area to which it is applied, and lasts just long enough to get things rolling. A word of caution: apply it with your subordinate hand and then wipe that hand off with a hand towel before rolling on a condom with your dominant hand. Anesthetic works anywhere you put it, and under a rubber it can kill your wood. If you’re barebacking, expect to last a while longer because of the numbness, which might not be a bad thing.

Two Black Hand Towels
They’re small, they’re less than a dollar a piece at Target, and they should be black or at least a dark color that won’t show stains (from lube or whatever else). Get two: one for you and one for your partner or guest.

A Toy or Two
This may be the most important thing on this basic list. I highly recommend a Fleshjack for solo play. They’re made of the latest lifelike materials, and are worth their weight in orgasms. The same spongy, lifelike rubber is used for dildos, allowing them to be softer to the touch over a rigid substrate. Of course, technology has its price, and they run from around $30-$60. You’ll probably use it dozens of times, so amortized out over time, it’s just a few bucks a pop. Don’t be tempted or fooled by that $12.95 creamsicle-orange number in the blister pak. You’ll be sorry. Tattoos, plastic surgery, and dildos are three places you don’t want to be a cheapskate. The dishwasher is the perfect place to sanitize your dildo and other toys, but just make sure you have turned the drying feature off. The heat will melt it. Protect your investment with a good drawstring bag that will keep it from reacting to the other plastics in the box, and keep it clean.

You may or may not need this, to protect your gear from curious maids, friends, or children, but it’s nice to have just to be sure.

That’s the basic sex tool box. Stay tuned for Your Sex Tool Box, Part 2 – The Extras

4 Responses to “Your Sex Tool box, Part 1 – The Basics”

  1. 1 Jake
    Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 2:18 pm

    Great site!

    Thanks for sharing the good ideas. I’ve always wondered what would make a nice collection, so now the fun begins and I get to start building my own “bedroom lock box.” I can’t wait to read part 2!

  2. 2 Jake
    Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    Great site!

    Thanks for sharing your ideas. As a newly out guy, I’ve been wondering about what kind of stuff would be fun to have around for play time. I’m looking forward to Part 2.

  3. Tuesday, July 15, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    Great work, Billy. I’ve also found the following items to be handy in the toolbox:

    1) A pair of small scissors can make opening lubey rubbers much easier in the “heat of the moment.”

    2) A bottle of Afrin can go a long way to keeping nasal passages open (especially important if using Cialis, Levitra or Viagra and engaging in BDSM). But be judicious with its use. A little goes a long way.

    3) Female condoms can be nice for tops who don’t want to wear a condom, but allows for the same “skin on skin” feelings as bareback sex. They take a little getting used to, so the passive partner should practice inserting them on a dry run first.

    4) “Jack off jelly sleeves” can be cut into fours to make inexpensive cock rings.

    5) The Liberator, while it won’t fit in the toolbox, is a great addition to your sexual lifestyle, allowing you to assume all sorts of positions without lubing up your sheets.

  4. 4 Steven
    Friday, August 8, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    As far as the condoms go I would recommend One Condoms (onecondoms.com) They have fun, unique packaging and come in a variety of styles including the new “Pleasure Plus” which features a ribbed pouch near the tip

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