A Frank IM About The Prostate

The following is an actual IM conversation I had today with one of my dearest friends, a straight, married woman living in the heartland, who shall remain nameless 😉

Okay, insane question for you: what exactly is a prostate gland
and why do you have one but I do not?

isn’t there the internet for this?

Are you sending me to wikipedia?

Okay, the prostate is a gland that, if Sam wants me to come really hard,
he’ll put his finger in my ass at just the right time and massage it
until it goes from feeling like a fifty cent piece-sized pillow to an angry apricot


Hey, you asked.


It’s your g-spot then?

pretty much

And why, exactly, an ANGRY apricot?

well, turgid just sounded so bookish

Turgidity is indeed bookish

why, do you ask, pray tell?

Question of balance

In that case, I’m not sure what it becomes during sexual differentiation

People have been saying all day “all babies start out as girls….” (don’t ask me why; I just assumed it was the universe trying to tell me something) and then we got to discussing the equivalencies

but I do know that men hate to have it checked… straight ones that is


although, if they’d let go of their butt shame they’d get a big kick out of it

butt shame. ROFL.

you know, anything to do with the butt is gay

Straight men are weirdos

It’s a good thing straight men are for marrying women,
or they’d have no use for us whatsoever

just keep your fingernails short and surprise your husband sometime

I’ll put that on the list

on second thought, maybe best not to surprise him,
that might have the reverse effect

Cosmo says they all love it

a tidier shortcut is to just press on the ‘taint’,
which also works to some degree


Making notes now: press taint

the funny thing is when gay men have their prostate examined,
we squeeze tightly just so they don’t think it’s easy to get in there.


All gay men? Or just you?

Okay, I do this. I don’t know who else does.

When women (straight or not) have their “annual exams”



ROFL. what a relief.

Especially if we’ve given birth to ginormous headed babies

that’s hysterical

Even if it’s the doctor who last saw you pass a cantaloupe out your hooha. It’s EQUIVALENT!

I’m so blogging this.


3 Responses to “A Frank IM About The Prostate”

  1. 2 Joe Shmo
    Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    great one. we all need witty IM friends in the heartland!

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