Archive for February, 2008

28
Feb
08

Everyone on Craigslist is DDF

picture-5.pngI have always loved reading personals: Gainesville’s Creative Loafing, student rags at USF, the Miami Herald, and L.A. Weekly, but then I discovered Craigslist and its endless hours of searchable entertainment. You can find just about anything there. Everybody knows this. But I’ve made an incredible discovery.

Are you ready for it?

Drug and disease free (DDF) men and women in Los Angeles and other major metropolitan areas are not to be found at bars, or circuit parties. They’re on Craigslist. Grade-A, unspoiled, extroverted, adult boy and girl scouts ripe for the picking, great at parties, ready to host or travel.

Craigslist has not returned calls seeking clarification on whether they have a DDF requirement or if there’s something magical about their ads that draws the squeaky clean and shields them from every drug and STD.

Don’t believe me? Continue reading ‘Everyone on Craigslist is DDF’

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27
Feb
08

Tops (or Just Plain Guys) Aren’t Always Ready

whathappened.jpgno matter what we’d like (you) to believe, we aren’t always ready to go.

There can be a lot of pressure when you’re raising your lance to joust, and you can be faced with an army of factors that seeks your defeat.First and foremost is the enemy within, a.k.a. stage fright. Mental pressure is compounded by expectations: a storied reputation to live up to, what you’ve bragged about or promised/threatened to do, level of acquaintance with the bottom, a prolonged ‘courtship’, or even whether or not he (or she) (and you) really look like the pictures you swapped.In the sack, like in the rest of life, expectations can set you up to fail, or at least to pale in comparison to what was expected, so be modest, under-promise and over-deliver. Continue reading ‘Tops (or Just Plain Guys) Aren’t Always Ready’

26
Feb
08

Men Don’t Self-Lubricate Like Women Do

Everything I needed to know about sex I DIDN’T learn from porn. In fact, some of what I learned from porn has done me a disservice, and probably you as well. This WTF series is dedicated to debunking stuff about sex.

spit doesn’t make sufficient lube.

In porn, scenes last for dozens of minutes and you just about never see a lube job, unless of course there’s a product placement deal in place. This is one of the wonders of editing. This might lead some to believe that a little spit will do the trick; for some who like it dry, it will, but most prefer a little more glide in their ride. I’m mostly talking about man on man sex, but this info applies to the man/woman variety as well, especially with the increase in hetero “back yard” play. Continue reading ‘Men Don’t Self-Lubricate Like Women Do’

25
Feb
08

Cleanliness is Next to Studliness

geyser.jpgget that shower thingy.

When I first saw one of these things, I thought “Wow, this guy takes the booty seriously.” At first I thought it was a little hard core, but then I realized it’s the mark of a considerate, mature lover. The more I thought about it, not using one just seemed so irresponsible. This isn’t college. It’s no longer acceptable to just hope for the best. You don’t have guests over without cleaning the house, do you? Why should this be any different? BTW, I’m not just talking to the boys; anal sex is prettymuch as popular with the het set.

Continue reading ‘Cleanliness is Next to Studliness’

24
Feb
08

Average Penis Size

Billy's Got a Red BullEverything I needed to know about sex I DIDN’T learn from porn. In fact, some of what I learned from porn has done me a disservice, and probably you as well. This WTF series is dedicated to debunking stuff about sex. Let’s get right to the point.

9×6 is not average.

In fact the average penis is around 6″ long and about 4.5″ in girth. There are a lot of studies out there, and they all come to this same conclusion, give or take a quarter inch. Porn has done a number on us in this arena. With John Holmes, Jeff Stryker, and any number of other swingin’ dick pornsters (what is it about those eastern bloc countries?), it’s no wonder the average guy can have a complex. If you really are a 9×6, consider yourself gifted, but know that even with cocks, less can be more. Some men are content admiring Everest, without any desire to climb it.

It’s important to remember that no matter your size, there’s a market for you. There are men, and women, who are exclusively interested in small endowments. Ditto the horse-hung, but I’ve seen men who bought their cocks by the pound and don’t have the slightest idea how to wield ’em. In my experience, a chisel is a chisel; skills make the craftsman.

Continue reading ‘Average Penis Size’

23
Feb
08

This is not Miami. This is Virgin America.

virginairplane.jpg

Sam and I headed to San Francisco for Wondercon this Friday, where we watched a screening of Appleseed Ex Machina and roamed the floor with the fraternity of the disenfranchised. Possibly more exciting than the con itself was the flight there… our first on Virgin America.

Definitely not our last. Continue reading ‘This is not Miami. This is Virgin America.’

22
Feb
08

Inside The Polyandrous Relationship

I’VE WRITTEN ABOUT VARIOUS KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS HERE, including the polyandrous. I wanted to get the real scoop on this situation, so I went to my friend TJ, who has successfully navigated polyandrous relationships. He offered to share his insights here. I definitely had some misconceptions that he’s dispelled – like for starters, it’s not a three-way. Thanks, TJ! —Lovesick Billy

Continue reading ‘Inside The Polyandrous Relationship’




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