Your Dirty Minds

When I wrote The Girls with Whom I’ve Had Sex and the inevitable The Guys with Whom I’ve Had Sex, I did it primarily to document details that grow foggier with every passing year, to make a lasting marker just before my 40th year, and to show that we gay men are not all mincing vaginaphobes. It also felt good to get the information out of my head, and onto a page where random readers could find it and be entertained or maybe even learn something from it, and that has definitely happened. Here’s a screen grab from my blog stats page that shows my top blog posts:


Maybe the Chute Dogging video just hasn’t made the rounds yet, but nonetheless, it looks like the wrestlers I’ve wrestled are more interesting to you than the steer. Then comes the Brady Quinn fantasy, which I’ve even read a few times, and then on to celebrities and more sex, and the swing set suicide, and on and on… you get the picture.

A friend of ours who wrote a few great blogs about Thailand, has made the accusation that I’m just being sensationalist with posts he considers indiscreet. Well, it’s no mistake that he’s visiting and blogging about Phuket and not Compton. It’s more interesting. On the other hand, another friend, Jonathan, urges me to go all out, saying “the more intimate the topic, the more readers you’ll get.” Sam’s got it made because his blog is not only about his life, but about fitness, which is really practical stuff that everyone wants to know about.

Then there’s what my friend Mrs. Waltz says:

“I enjoy blogs for the same reason that I enjoy books — because they’re well-written. And then, serendipitously, I came across a great line of advice: stop worrying about being *interesting* and start being more *interested*.”

And then, another blogger whom I love, Leo Babauta, of the Zen Habits blog, and now of Write to Done, says this:

Great blogwriting isn’t just about the writer. Sure, there should be a lot of the writer in the writing … but if the writer is so selfish that he ignores the reader, he’s not writing well at all.”

I doubt that anybody blogs solely for themselves. We all want to be read, or there’d be no wordpress and we’d be keeping private, locked diaries, and even those yearn for strange eyes. I’ve always written about what I’m interested in, and that’s often been sex. Seeing all of these posts side-by-side, has also shown me a larger mosaic of myself that I haven’t seen tile-by-tile. I can see the connections between the posts, their relationships, and shifting priority, making my blog a living, breathing representation of me, and I’m *interested* in sharing that. So I’ll continue relating more about love, sex, relationships, and Sam – and probably some posts with TMI, because after all I am an exhibitionist in many ways – along with the other excitement I have in my life, because there’s plenty of it. It’s more fun for me to write about sex too, you know, than about the Smart Car.

7 Responses to “Your Dirty Minds”

  1. 1 MrsWaltz
    Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 8:04 am

    Hey, I LOVED the Smart Car blog! In the same covetous way that I loved that infomercial about the wok. I think your blog is like encounter therapy without the discomfort of actually encoutering the freaking group. Mandated personal sharing is not my thing. But finding a way to express what’s important and interesting to me, without risking the “WTF?” faces around the circle, come on, that’s TOTALLY appealing.
    And I just realized how much like a 14-year-old girl I sound. Awesome. I’m SO allowed to here in cyberspace, where no one can see the random gray hairs that come with being um, NOT 14.
    Love you, love Sam, love the blog. Write takeout reviews if you want. I’ll be here.

  2. 2 MrsWaltz
    Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 8:06 am

    Hey, wait a minute, what’s this password-protected “For brahs only” tab?! What, do you have to be on one of the lists to get the password? Sheesh.

  3. Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 9:27 am

    That’s a page for Sam and me only. 🙂

  4. Thursday, January 24, 2008 at 7:49 pm

    I have to be honest with you;I learn stuff from your blogs! I learn stuff about you, stuff about me and just plain stuff. One of the things I have learned in my life is that sometimes when people have told me that I am too blunt or “on”, “over-the-top” or indiscreet, I find out it is because they don’t have as much to say or they wish they could be as free-spirited as I am. Of course, sometimes I find out that, if I speak of escapades, it’s that they don’t have any to speak about or the ones they could speak about aren’t nearly as interesting. And then sometimes I find out that they are just a little too reined in. Sometimes I find out that they are offended. Oh well.

  5. 5 Jonathan
    Friday, January 25, 2008 at 4:21 am

    Oh, that’s great.
    The articles were written by: Bronson
    Describing acts performed by: Bronson
    Describing fantasies of: Bronson
    And you title this blog entry “Your dirty minds”.

  6. 7 Jonathan
    Sunday, January 27, 2008 at 8:16 am

    Somehow, when you reduce my recommendation to “the more intimate the topic, the more readers you’ll get,” it comes across as being somewhat crass. I think that the statement is true—just look at which entries have the received most hits.
    But, it’s more than that. I think my full comment was that, to me, the best blogs “bleed.” It’s not that they necessarily document something painful, although they often do, but that they essentially pore out from the writer’s inner core. They are uncensored. They are honest.
    And, I think if the topic is intimate, it often will come from the writer’s core. It’s what attracts me to certain writers, certain musicians, certain artists.
    It won’t always get you the most hits (This Woman’s Work was my favorite entry), but I think it often will.
    And if that doesn’t work, throw in some pics of hot sweaty guys.

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