We Lost Jack. Now We’ve Lost Ennis.


My Mom just told me he was gone, and then I had to go to a meeting. I was in the hallway, and some brainless, soulless girl I work with approached, a spring in her step and a smile broad as a jack-o-lantern’s, saying, “Did you hear the news?”

I was hoping she’d heard something happy to offset what I’d heard. “Heath Ledger’s dead,” she said, breezing past.

And I just stood there, dazed, never having been a fan, and not needing any other reason to love him, and now to mourn him, than the fact that he was, and always will be Ennis del Mar – not to mention I’m fresh from the rodeo with Sam, my very own Ennis del Mar. The first time we saw the film, I saw Sam in Ennis right off, and he saw me in Jack; he even does a dead-on impression of Ennis. That film put the west into our psyche, was a big part of the earliest days of our relationship, and was (and is) a cinematic representation of the true and legendary love Sam and I have for each other. It always will be.

I’ve seen Brokeback Mountain all the way through only twice, because losing Jack was practically unbearable the first time. God knows when I’ll ever watch it again.

4 Responses to “We Lost Jack. Now We’ve Lost Ennis.”

  1. Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    In this moment, the universe brings it all into stark perspective, doesn’t it? Requiem Aeternam, Heath Ledger. “He was a friend of mine.”

  2. Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 10:35 am

    Seriously, what’s wrong with us as a people?

    Gawker had video posted of Heath’s body leaving his apartment in a stretcher. How morbid is that?

    That girl who smiled when she told you Heath was dead should be ashamed of herself.

    There is nothing glamorous or sexy about death; celebrity or not.

    This guy had a parents, sisters and a daughter. Did anyone see his father choke up at the end of the written statement he gave the press? Imagine his daughter stumbling on the video of his body wheeled away on a stretcher when she’s an adult.

  3. 3 bree
    Thursday, July 24, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    I kno i cant believe his gone i was @ school & we were watching the news & i just busted out crying when they said Heath Ledger was dead.If though i am jus 15 yrs old i still understand love 7 i understand the meaning of the movie more than pretty much any of the adults i kno & i still love all the movies Heath was in expically BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN.I cant believe we lost Jack in the movie ever time i watch that movie i cry not only bc its sad & we lost Jack in but all so bc we lost Heath in real life 7 that girl i hope she feels bad 4 smiling when she said it bc i would have busted out crying.bc written right now its hard 4 me 2 fight back the tears.

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