08
Jan
08

Better Exhibitionism

Billy in the BathtubMy husband, Sam, once founded a magazine called HERO (here, and here), with his then-boyfriend, now friend, Paul Horne. It was there, in 2000 or so, that I actually met them for the first time. I was interviewing for a job as their circulation director. I had a boyfriend at the time, and during the interview I made a conscious decision not to stare too hard at my boyishly hot, dirty blond interviewer, Sam. That’s the meet cute.

Five years later, Sam and I were both single and on connexion.org, but to me he was just some hunky stranger who asked me to be his friend. I didn’t remember him until we chatted some more. Damn that decision not to stare. No matter, it all worked out just fine, as Sam and I were (as) married (as we can be under the current oppressive regime) on April 21, 2007. Paul was an unparalleled Best Man.

The other night Sam and I were talking about blogging, and HERO, and privacy. At one point the founder of OUT magazine, Michael Goff, suggested over lunch at The Ivy, that if they were to make HERO about their relationship, covering it with absolute candor, it would fly off the stands. Sam, being the exhibitionist, was intrigued, and Paul, being Paul, scoffed, so it never happened, and the magazine folded.

Now with the advent of blogging, and with Sam’s and my feet firmly placed in that world, this question comes up fairly often. If we were to divulge everything, or nearly everything, in a blog, would people read it? Can one be truly natural when they know they’re being ‘watched’?

Porn comes to mind. No matter how talented they are, there’s nothing more unnatural than the performance of porn stars on film, which I’d bet is partly responsible for the rise in amateur porn. Sam and I have posted some pretty hot amateur porn, and it’s far better than any produced stuff.

It calls to mind Warren Beatty’s rant in Truth or Dare.

[after Madonna declines to talk to her doctor off-camera]

Warren
She doesn’t want to live off-camera, much less talk.
There’s nothing to say off-camera.
Why would you say something if it’s off-camera?
What point is there existing?
One of the many things I’ve learned from Sam is how to be a better exhibitionist, and there’s an art to it that hearkens from Burlesque: make them feel like they’ve seen everything when in fact, they haven’t. What’s the difference, really, if the effect is the same?

So, what blogs are your guiltiest pleasures, and why, and how much do you want to see?

or email me at lovesickbilly@mac.com
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6 Responses to “Better Exhibitionism”


  1. 1 MrsWaltz
    Wednesday, January 9, 2008 at 8:15 am

    I enjoy blogs for the same reason that I enjoy books — because they’re well-written. And then, serendipitously, I was skimming a textbook the other day and came across a great line of advice: stop worrying about being *interesting* and start being more *interested*. I guess what I’m trying to say (and bolloxing up) is that I like to read what you write when your own interest is obvious. You, my friend, could write about the ingredient list on your whole grain bread, and I would read (and enjoy) it. When something fascinates you, you convey it masterfully. That mastery is why I’m here.

  2. 2 MrsWaltz
    Wednesday, January 9, 2008 at 8:19 am

    Oops. I responded without actually answering your question (like a sophomore with an blue book exam!) I want to see anything you want to show me. Excluding full frontal. I have a 5 year old exhibitionist; I see enough of that already.

  3. Wednesday, January 9, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Be more INTERESTED. What a simple, yet powerful, insight, MrsWaltz.

    I’d like to hear more about that whole grain bread. (Hey, I’m on a meal plan and craving carbs).

  4. 4 kai...
    Friday, January 18, 2008 at 4:32 am

    mmmmm…. is this “amateur” porn of which you speak, simply posted BY you and Sam, or OF you and Sam? Two of the hottest bloggers out there? And where would a man find this amazing porn? Hey I can dream, can’t I? LOL…

    Love your blog… and Sam’s too. Been a fan of Sam’s every since he gave me a fitness consult about 2 years ago. The time was not right for me then… but I’ve greatly enjoyed checking in on you 2 here in Blogland.

    Now where is that porn! 🙂

  5. 5 kai...
    Friday, January 18, 2008 at 4:40 am

    and the story of your romance and marriage has inspired me to no end. it’s helped me realize that finding love and commitment is what i really want, and will work towards. thank you both.


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