Archive for December, 2007


“Lovesick Billy” in 2008

Bronson & Sam at Tori Amos, 2007More yoga? Possibly. More writing? Of course. More for my body, integrity, and honest communication? Definitely. Get out of the red and into the black? Already in the works.

2008 will be my 40th year. I have my health, the love of my life, great friends and family, a screenplay in pre-production, a really good day job, and a new Mac. What more could I ask for? Less needless stuff. Less confusion. Less anxiety. Less junk. Less junk food. More experiences.

More trips around the Rose Bowl with the dogs. More evenings “jacked-out”, and lounging with Sam in our big comfy couch. More movie nights. More late Saturday mornings, cuddling. More fun with Mom. More gardening. More biking. More rodeo. More athleticism. More travel. More adventures. More Lovesick Billy.

More for those with, um, less. I’d really like to get involved with The Art of Elysium, Being Alive, and other charities.

That’s what I resolve to do in 2008.


Size Matters: 2008 Smart Car

2008 Smart ForTwo

My greatest automotive obsession may be my smallest. If you haven’t seen it, it’s the Smart. A joint design venture between Mercedes-Benz and Swatch, (yes, Swatch) It’s been overseas for more than a decade, and it’s coming to the US in 2008.

Continue reading ‘Size Matters: 2008 Smart Car’


Your Way, My Way, and the Three Way

Dear Lovesick Billy, 

I read your blog about how you and Sam explore your fantasies, and wanted to bring something to you. My husband and I have a healthy sex life and have recently discovered that we are turned on by three-ways. We’ve had a couple of experiences and it was all good. We expected that we might feel jealous, but we didn’t. We had a great time. So is this something that you fantasize about, or have had experience with? We never really considered ourselves ‘swingers’, and aren’t really sure that’s the path we want to go. So while we feel like we’re in a good place about it, we’re still a little confused.Thanks,Confused in California

Continue reading ‘Your Way, My Way, and the Three Way’


The Penis Does Not Lie. The Vagina is Ambivalent.

pinocchio.gifSam and I have always paid good attention to our fantasy life, fostering its growth and making a safe place for its expression, within the bounds of our marriage. After all, if we aren’t safe in disclosing our darkest fantasies to each other, we are doomed to repressing them. In my experience repression leads to all sorts of ills that are difficult to sort out the longer they are allowed to incubate.

One thing we’ve discovered, that I can now say is verified by science, is that the cock does not lie. No matter how forbidden the subject matter, a man comes equipped with a surefire indicator of his interest, and it’s his dick. Johnson’s response also corresponds closely with the man’s orientation. Girls, well, they like to keep their options open.

Continue reading ‘The Penis Does Not Lie. The Vagina is Ambivalent.’


Ladies: Tim Ferriss is the Modern Man… and Single.

Tim Ferriss DancingTim Ferriss is kind of a big deal. Just ask him, or Sam. Sam is very single-threaded about Tim Ferriss right now. He’s the modern Prince of outsourcing, and evidently a good kisser. In much the same way as America has outsourced millions of jobs to countries with citizens who will happily work for peanuts, Tim outsources his life, and not just his work life, even dating:

“I hired virtual teams of people all over the world… to compete against each other and set dates for me on an online calendar… and there would be a $150 bonus to whichever team set the most good dates.“

There is nothing that money can’t buy. Finding a “date manager” to set up dates, and paying the guy a commission for each date he goes on. Why is this not the second oldest profession? Dating can be hell, especially for busy, high-value bucks like Tim Ferriss, but I say there is something to enjoying the process, meeting interesting (and not so interesting) people, maybe even making some platonic friends, and not being simply focused on the goal. Maybe I’m just luckier at love, since I’m happily married to Sam, a genuine all-around. So anyway back to Tim. Evidently the date managers filled up his datebook pretty quickly, because later he made an online appeal to his readers to come up with the best date ideas for under $500, and in return for readers’ romantic ideas, he generously offered some copies of his book to give as Christmas gifts – “some of them autographed.”

Hell, if it works out, I’m sure he knows exactly whom to hire in South Africa to find the best Kimberley diamond and ship it to Israel to be cut and set by the finest jewelers. This guy has it down. Then on to the wedding planner…

But this modern man doesn’t stop there. Tim’s most recent tentpole is the reclamation of the masculine ideal, or at least the reclamation of an article about the masculine ideal, is one “outsourced” from Esquire, entitled “Why I Started Punching Jerks Again,” and aiming to bring back the golden age of manly men with passages like:

“I think a little fisticuffs would do most men a world of good, giving options to the masses who put up with too much, consequences to loudmouthed idiots who would then think twice, and a release valve to a gender that otherwise comes up with far worse things to do to men, women, wives, and children.”

It’s interesting reading that really made me question why I’m not letting my dukes do more of the talking, and I think I even got a little aroused. But I digress. This topic really hits home with Tim, who describes himself:

“Born premature and small throughout school, I was on the receiving end of hazing for more than a decade, but I put up a good fight. Being small didn’t mean I couldn’t operate in a world with a line that, once crossed, meant you had to put up or shut up.”

I totally get it. Think Scrappy-Doo. Being held just beyond swinging distance with a hand to your forehead has to suck. I had a very similar experience, being called ‘fag’ pretty much daily through middle and high school, but again I must have been lucky, because never once did it ever come to blows, and actually I wound up befriending and non-violently winning the respect of every bully who ever gave me a hard time. Literally every one. No cowering. No forfeiture of lunch money. No fisticuffs. I believe nice guys finish first.

Maybe it’s because I was always tall, like Scooby-Doo, that I fared better, or maybe it was when they realized I was friends with all the hot girls, and could make introductions. No matter what it was, it’s just another part of my life for which I’m grateful.

I can’t imagine why Tim Ferriss hasn’t found the right woman (and he’s very, very clear about his ‘ladies only’ dating policy). I mean, he’s skilled in wrestling and ballroom dancing, has a degree from Princeton, a book on the NYT bestseller list, is a Glycemic Index researcher (so he can help you with your diet), an MTV breakdancer in Taiwan, an actor on a hit TV series in mainland China, he’s kinda hot, and knows how to throw down if you get disrespected.


The Secret Lives of Football Players


Over one-third of former American Football players have had sex with men, study claims. To give you a visual, that would be 41 of the 123 guys in the picture above. Hot.

In his study of homosexuality among sportsmen in the US, sociologist Dr Eric Anderson found a sample of 47 men, aged 18-23, who were all American Football players who had played at the high school level, but didn’t make it to the university level – becoming cheerleaders instead at various universities from the American south, Mid-West, west and north west.

Dr Anderson, now of the University of Bath, UK, said the study showed that:

Society’s increasing open-mindedness about homosexuality and decreasing stigma concerning sexual activity with other men had allowed sportsmen to speak more openly about these sexual activities.

This sex came in the form of two men and one woman, as well as just two men alone.
The sexual acts described differed from acts of ‘hazing’ or team-bonding that often include pretend-homosexual acts.

“The evidence supports my assertion that homophobia is on the rapid decline among male teamsport athletes in North America at all levels of play,” he writes in his study, entitled ‘Being masculine is not about whom you sleep with…Heterosexual athletes contesting masculinity and the one-time rule of homosexuality’ to be published in the journal Sex Roles in January.

“These finding(sic) differ from previous research on North American men who have sex with men, in several ways.

First, previous research describes heterosexual men in heterogeneous group sex as men symbolically engaging in sexual practices with other men. However, I find informants actually engage in sexual activity with other men. But this does not mean that they are gay.

“Second, my informants do not feel that their same-sex sex jeopardizes their socially perceived heterosexual identities, at least within the cheerleading culture. In other words, having gay sex does not automatically make them gay in masculine peer culture.”

Dr Anderson, of the University’s Department of Education, said the same situation was also true for the UK.

The positive portrayal of homosexuality on television, the ease with which homosexuals could gradually ‘come out’ by using the internet, the ability for straight men to talk with gay men on the internet, and the decline of religious fundamentalism has made homosexuality and homosexual acts considerably less controversial for university-aged men. This had made revealing the fact they had engaged in homosexual acts easier.

He said the study was not biased by talking to sportsmen who were now cheerleaders, which is often seen as a feminine activity. Those he interviewed were selected to represent men that considered themselves traditionally masculine, typical American Football players.

Dr Anderson was the first openly gay male high school sports coach in the US. He left coaching after one of his students was assaulted because it was assumed that he was gay. Dr Anderson is now working in the field of sport sociology at the University of Bath, and is the author of In the Game, Gay Athletes and the Cult of Masculinity.

Now that’s ‘fantasy football’. I KNEW I should have played more sports in high school.

University of Bath (2007, October 30). Over One-third Of Former American Football Players Had Sexual Relations With Men, Study Claims. ScienceDaily. Retrieved December 16, 2007, from

Wardrobe Makeover Follow-up

Neil (scoring) on Valleywag

On 12/11, I responded to an email from Neil, a newly single guy who is getting back out into the dating world, and revamping his look. That’s him, above, scoring with the hottie in the cheongsan and anime boots. I think the grin says it all.

So, phase two for Lovesick Billy 🙂

  1. Picked up some used, slightly trendy denim in SF. $20.
  2. Used a classic cut navy blazer I already had.
  3. Instead of Zappos, bought a pair of Clark’s. $120 with tax. Dark brown. Damn comfortable.
  4. Mix with tucked white Oxford with good, casual brown belt.
  5. Trimmed the goatee down to about 1/4″ long and did away with lots of hair at Carlton’s.
  6. Lost the glasses to new contacts (these new contact lens materials are amazing!!!).

Still working on it, but I’m starting to see a visual ‘signature’ emerging.

It’s all good.

The best part? Went to buddy’s company’s Xmas party Friday night. I got lots of attention from the ladies. The take away? The girls like me, but the clothes are what got me noticed in the first place.

Finally, it’s time for a little more fun 🙂



Lovemarks: Loyalty Beyond Reason

Saatchi & Saatchi has a site called Lovemarks, about brand fanaticism and what creates it. What you might expect to be a dry marketing exercise turns into something completely different whey you see their lists and realize that anything, and anyone, can be considered a brand… and a lovemark. Peruse the list, and vote ‘love it’ or ‘lose it’ to the entries there, or nominate your own favorite lovemark.

The coolest part of the whole site is the Lovemark Profiler: a list of questions to determine if your fave is really a lovemark.

The Profiler is really telling (and mad lib-funny) when you put someone’s name in the blank.


Abercrombie Isn’t Really For Me Anymore.


No sooner did I give advice about dressing one’s age, than I went stumbling into Abercrombie & Fitch last night, with Sam, lured by the smell of Fierce, and the curiosity of whether or not the employees were still as hot as they once were.

The guys there (Old Town Pasadena) were no cuter than the guys at the Gap, but the store gets me every time. The clothes were a different story.

Sam had scoped out some sweat pants to work out in, so we headed into the fitting rooms with a couple of pair. One pair was a near miss, but the second, was a flashing sign that I was fooling myself. It’s not because I’m out of shape. It’s not because I couldn’t wear them if I really wanted to. It is because I am getting to the point, at 39, where I can choose to be that guy or not, and I choose not.

You know, that guy who looks like he picked up his son’s gym bag by mistake, and just figured what the heck, I don’t want to miss a workout. Or the guy who is still chasing that jock fantasy in his head, even though he did nail more than a few jocks when he was in high school AND college, thank you very much. Oh, what?

There was just something about the attitude that felt over, and as surprising as it was, staring back at me in the brushed steel-framed full-length mirror, I realized that gone are the days when my butt looked like a pair of melons in a mesh bag, and the skin on my abdomen was as thin as tissue paper, and I was really fine with it. I felt myself quietly questioning what Hugo Boss had in the way of fleece pants, or Emporio Armani even.

Sam got the gray fleece ones shown above. And he can. He’s just 32, and a big kid besides, so they look pretty hot on him. Maybe I’ll douse him in Fierce and we’ll play “A&F District Manager comes for a store check”. Grrr. I feel better already.


Gay Sex One Night, Straight Sex the Next

A study finds that in fruit flies, homosexuality is biological, but not hard-wired.

A team of neurobiologists at the University of Illinois at Chicago have found that the homosexual behavior in fruit flies can be switched on and off through genetic manipulation or drugs – within hours.

Evidently, the key for fruit flies is in the way they perceive the pheromones of their fly buddies. Genetically alter or treat them with a drug, and the fruit flies copulate with other flies of the same sex. Alter or treat them again, and they are “straight”.

The “causes” of homosexuality are being studied widely, but that’s not the purpose for this study. This information may allow scientists to alter the behavior of fruit flies so that they can be changed into beneficial pollenators of fruit, rather than destructive pests.

It does beg the question, though, if this knowledge were applicable to humans, and we were able to change our sexual orientation for periods of time with a nasal spray or pill, would we? Would we take such a “therapy” regularly, to become straight? Would the military put such a substance into GI food? Would it mean that when faced with a shortage of hot girls, a guy could decide change his luck, pop a pill and go to the local gay bar? Oh, wait, they already do that.

But seriously, what do you think about this? It begs the old question, if there were a pill, would you take it? I wouldn’t. Women are great, but I like me just the way I am.

For all the details:

Billy’s Sorted Past

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