Archive for August, 2008
Even if the US ventures back into the Twilight Zone and elects McCain/McMILF this November, Barack Obama has already won, and made history. The comparisons to the Kennedys and to MLK are of course, obvious, but they go beyond Barack’s youth, charisma, and oratory, and Michelle’s Jackie O-esque confidence and style. The striking similarity, not only in carriage, but even in her coif is unmistakable. This is the election of which JFK dreamed, and for which he died: one where the field is racially leveled, and – imagine – the biggest stink made is whether or not there is a woman on the ticket. Continue reading ‘Barack Obama Has Already Won’
It’s official. John McCain’s taste in beautiful women is impeccable.
John McCain has chosen MILF Sarah Palin to share the GOP ticket.
A neo-con, short-term governor of Alaska, who I think appeared in ZZ Top’s “Legs” video in the 80s. I didn’t think it made sense until I dug in about the voting records of other possible Rep women: the incredibly capable Elizabeth Dole would seem a good, seasoned choice, but being just as old as McCain, might not instill us with much confidence. Lisa Murkowski, also GOP and Alaskan, has served on committees for energy, parks, education, and foreign relations and is candid about her eagerness to drill for oil, but she’s too moderate on abortion. Ditto Kay Hutchison on abortion. Ditto Susan Collins on abortion. Olympia Snowe reaches across the aisle too much, working with Dems to minimize Bush’s tax cuts, and disagreeing here and there about Iraq. Elizabeth Joyce is too busy answering hate mail and being courted for her vote. So that leaves right-wing MILF, Sarah Palin.
I’m not sure when the GOP became the Dukes of Hazzard, but nonetheless, here’s the nutshell read on the schizophrenic nature of this NRA gun-toting beauty queen and VP candidate. Continue reading ‘Sarah Palin and the McCain / McMILF 2008 Ticket’
Kay McConaughey used to make love to her husband, Jim, as a way to say goodbye every morning. That’s adorable (and recommended). On one of these amorous mornings, however, Jim Continue reading ‘Hollyweird: McConaughey’s Dad Had a Huge Schlong’
Whether it was the five-minute standing ovation, her monumental speech, or the freshly-coined phrases like, “No way. No How. No McCain,” there is no doubt that Hillary Clinton threw her full support behind Barack Obama, and set the DNC on fire last night. Plus, Chelsea looked fabulous. It’s hard to believe that everyone wouldn’t be on board after such a night. And the ‘big guys’ haven’t even spoken yet.
But just when you thought Hillary’s “Twin Cities” joke was the funniest of the night (and it was hysterical), along comes presumed posterchild and mousy malcontent Elizabeth Joyce on Larry King Live. Leader of donation-requesting, lunatic fringe website Just Say No Deal, Ms. Joyce gave a hatter-mad interview, using SNL-worthy darting eyes, sudden sharky smiles, and shrill, self-absorbed suggestions that her party flip-flop was born of campaign trail antagonism. Cry me a river, honey. Thank God Tivo allowed Sam and me to fall out with laughter at this several times before going to bed, and that YouTube can bring it to you here.
Something from the DSM-IV? Racism? Fatigue? Stage fright? Unrequited lesbian obsession? You decide.
I’m watching the beginning of the DNC, and it is gloriously black. Sure, there are people in attendance who aren’t black, and – God bless them – they’re all bad dancers, but they’re there to shake it for the DNC and national television, for better or worse. Motown is alive in Denver tonight, and a little girl just belted out Alicia Keys “No One” with talent and gusto impossibly contained by her tiny teenage frame. What a breath of fresh air, if for no other reason than the fact that white people can be some of the most boring MFs on the planet, especially when we’re part of a three-day sales job. Besides, America doesn’t look that white and tight-assed anymore, and it’s about time we see her in every color.
America loves minorities: black, asian, latino, and even LGBT (a pan-cultural minority), just as long as they entertain, houseclean, and coif, while we continue being discriminated against or just plain ignored. Being able to legally marry Sam is one of the greatest moments of my life, and even though our marriage is said to be ex post facto, or grandfathered in the event of a constitutional amendment, there still looms a keen sense that half of those around me would like to revoke that basic right.
A lesbian friend of mine just called to ask me what “casar se=hombre+mujer” means Continue reading ‘The Democratic National Convention’
British Olympian Craig Pickering (clearly a big boy) laments that he ‘let the country down’ with a bad run at the games 1 while a Florida community let down an adorable lesbian high school student by standing behind the fundamentalist principal who shamed her, told her to stay away from children, and outed her to her family. 2
The king, and absolute monarch, of Swaziland, one of the world’s poorest countries where 40% of the population is HIV+ and can’t afford treatment or even food, sent 9 of his 13 wives (check this out) on a shopping spree across Europe and the Middle East. Nice. 3
You don’t have to be tuned into world news to have heard about the latest international child pornography sting, because it’s happening all around us. There were 55 men charged in the L.A. area alone, including a sheriff’s deputy, and a lawyer.
Having been molested as a child, myself (and having seen the predator [almost] brought to justice) I can’t tune out or ignore news about pedophilia – like a multi-lingual person not being able to tune out the languages they know. Unfortunately, neither can my mother, or my husband.
The most frustrating thing about understanding that ‘language’ is not that we keep finding out that “nice guys,” “family men,” “church-going,” and “loners” in suburban neighborhoods are pedophiles, but that we keep acting surprised by that profile. We are shocked to hear that priests, cops and lawyers are among those accused, as if their relationship to the law or to God makes their pedophilia implausible, and we never question their constant access to children for a minute. Their positions of legal or moral authority are the perfect blind. Continue reading ‘What a Pedophile Looks Like’
GH fans, and particularly Julius fans, are really dedicated. They want Julius back, and are going to any length to make it happen, including sending French baguettes to the execs. Why baguettes? If you’re not a GH watcher, it’s all explained here in my interview with Gregory Zarian who played Julius, and won the hearts of thousands of adoring fans. Check out the video below, one of many posted to YouTube, and feel the love.
Gregory is actually a friend of mine, and he was happy to tell me (and you) all about the campaign to BRING JULIUS BACK, answer the Lovesick Questions, and clarify the whole baguette thing for those of us who aren’t devoted GH fans… yet. Continue reading ‘Breaking Bread with General Hospital’s Julius, a.k.a. Gregory Zarian’