“Why buy the cow when you’re getting the milk for free?”
Women certainly aren’t cows, and the old saying is not pleasant, but sadly, the flawless, Tiffany-set, one carat, diamond-hard truth within it still rings true. Pun intended. I’ve known a lot of women, and a few men (myself included) who have hung on the line for years waiting for the big commitment.
Another gorgeous, smart, successful, sexy, outgoing girl friend of mine just put her foot down after a walloping decade of swallowing excuse after excuse. Everybody had given them the green light, except for him, and for whatever reason he just couldn’t muster. Unnecessarily tragic.
I was really proud of her for facing the pain and putting a stop to the waiting. She’s fabulous, and no sane man would, or should hesitate. I’ve learned that “when you know, you know” but barring any messy circumstances (which might be reason for pause in themselves), you should know – one way or another – in no more than a year. Any longer than that, and there’s a serious fear of commitment or something else seriously amiss, somewhere. If you’ve slept with him, you know he’s not hiding something like ambiguous genitalia or hermaphroditism, so there’s no other explanation for stringing you along endlessly, except maybe he’s gay, and he’s ultimately doing you a favor.