12
Feb
08

So I Married a Porn Star

Bronson Pondering PornI’d been dating Sam for a few weeks when I started to get the feeling that he might ‘be around for a while’, and then I knew I had to unload a couple of bombshells on Mom: HIV and porn. I wanted the discussion to take place somewhere we could feel safe, and she could digest the information. But most of all, it had to be matter of fact, and occur casually.

I called and asked her to dinner.

“What’s wrong?” she blurted, instantly.

“Nothing’s wrong,” I replied calmly. I’m a terrible strategist.

“You never ask me to dinner.”

Great. Now I’m remiss. “Can’t I just take you to dinner without there being something wrong?” I riposted.

“I don’t know. Can you?”

Touché.“It’s about Sam… you’re in love with him.”

“Well, yes, I am…”

“Well, that’s marvelous!” she exclaimed with full-on Shirley Maclaine in Postcards from the Edge glamour and shine.

“Why don’t I just come over,” I said, and a half an hour later, we were having pizza in her living room, and I still hadn’t let that casual, matter of fact thing go.

“Mom, Sam’s HIV positive.”

“So?” she asked. She didn’t miss a beat. “Does he take good care of himself?” she continued, and I answered with all I knew of Sam’s labs and health, which was, and is, very good. Plus, he has lower cholesterol than I do, (I was eating pizza regularly at that point), so technically he’s even healthier than I am. I guess I wasn’t surprised by her reaction. It’s a medical condition, and certainly nothing to prompt judgment; no stranger to being the black sheep, she’s not big on judgment anyway.

I probably figured that if the HIV thing went over well enough, the second part would be a cake walk, or maybe I wanted to make sure I had my priorities in order, and more importantly, that she thought I did. Whatever the motivation, I had my ever-captive audience, and she was looking at me with her wise, green eyes, knowing there was more.

“And he used to be a porn star,” I confessed, suppressing a smile, because frankly, I felt like I’d hit the sexual jackpot. I just wasn’t sure how she’d react.

“Well, lucky YOU!” she exclaimed, and passed me a slice. That woman is sixty feet tall and bulletproof.

Yes, it’s true. I’m married to Sam Page, born Sam Francis, and formerly Sam Tyson, a shooting star who burned brightly through a scant handful of films, directed by the best in the business, and touted as the “Brad Pitt of gay porn”. I believe it was Wash West’s The Hole, a porn parody of The Ring, in which Sam, sitting astride some strapping punk, said “Girls are soft, but boys – boys are hard.” Yessir, that’s my baby.

Much like Mom, Sam doesn’t know what it is to be supporting cast. Oh no, it’s top billing stardom, all the way, and jump right off that star at its peak, so they remember you young, hot, innocent, and rife with possibility.

I didn’t watch any of Sam’s work for months after we’d met. After he’d moved in, I kept the films squirreled away in a box, in a cabinet, in as remote a room as can be found in under 2,000 square feet of house, terrified to watch them. I think I was home from work, sick, and bored when I finally ventured in to the room, cabinet, and box, and into the world of Goldenrod, where I saw a slightly younger Sam kissing another man for the first time. I got a knot in my stomach and returned the disc to solitary confinement.

Three days later, I fast forwarded through the kissing scenes and got right down to business, learning handily why they called him the Brad Pitt of gay porn.Sam was fascinated by my review that evening, and I was too. Since then, he has watched me watch the films a few times. He’s told me all the back story, which is even better. (Actor commentary would be a great bonus feature on porn, if they don’t do it already.) Two and a half years and the rings that gently bind our fingers have taken the knot out of my stomach during the kissing scenes. It’s just one of the ways in which we circle each other, yin yang style: a porn-caliber sex symbol craving romance, and a romantic craving porn-caliber sex.

Of course the Olympic sex that you see in porn is shot over long days, sometimes repeated to extend the scenes, and artificially sets the sexual bar very, very high. It’s not realistic. It’s like a dysmorphia that beckons us to strive for it while it stays just out of reach. We’ll never really achieve it.

It’s a good thing too, because every now and then I think about doing porn. I’d do it with Sam, of course, exclusively, and I’d do it for a lark, not a career. I’m sure we’d just have to make a call to Chi Chi. She did direct Sam, and she DJ’d our wedding, and we do consider her a friend, after all. It’s a safe fantasy to have, because the out-to-pasture-for-porn age of 39 makes it completely unlikely, but it’s fun to think about. Truth be told, with good editing, I guess anyone can look like a sexual athlete on film, a total stud, even at 39.

Just not the Brad Pitt of gay porn. ;)


5 Responses to “So I Married a Porn Star”


  1. Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 8:40 pm

    I prefer to use the term “porn actor” (less presumptuous) but since you’re talking about me in the third person, (and it’s YOU, after all) I’ll happily accept the “star” designation.

    xo

  2. Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    Wow, I came here to check out your blog and this is one of the first entries I saw. OK, now I’m really flattered you find my situation exciting. :-) I have to bookmark your site too.
    CJ

    http://www.queercents.com/2008/01/28/financial-complexities-of-a-troupled-household/

  3. 3 Rod Too
    Thursday, July 31, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    I’ve been a fan of Sam’s since his HERO days (in fact, I still have two of the back issues), and I remember him being a porn actor, and admired his move from publisher to porn actor. I recently read HIV Plus (I am also HIV+) for the article on serosorting for a class I taught, and I saw you and Sam’s photo in the “Great Divide”, and I thought, “Is that…?” Reading the article, reading you and Sam’s blogs, seeing your wedding photos, and watching “D-List”, I have nothing but love and respect for the both of you. Congrats on your accomplishments, not the least of which is finding each other.

    Rod

    P.S.: Sam, is there any way I can get any more back issues of HERO? Please email me at the address above.

    P.P.S.: Bronson, I know this response is months after your original post, but if you still want to do a porn scene with Sam, take it from one who’s been there, do it!


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