10 Things I Should Have Been Taught in High School

1. Fools usually want to be fooled.
2. The road to hell is paved with credit cards.
3. Exercise and flossing are a pain in the ass, but they beat obesity and food through a straw.
4. Go to college. Period. It makes up for the shitty education you got in grade school, and besides, you’re not as grown-up as you think you are.
5. It’s up to you, and not your parents, what you major in, compete in, and put your dick in.
6. Trust your instincts, and hone them with the mistakes you make by not trusting them.

Your Sex Tool Box, Part 2 - The Intermediate Stuff

Okay, so now you have your tool box ready to go with the basic stuff. What’s in your tool box is up to you of course, as an expression of your individuality, but here are a few suggestions.

A Leather Blindfold
This is by far the most valuable item in the box. Sensory deprivation is

Billy’s Hot Cowboys, July, 2008

Let’s start July off with a bang! Happy Independence Day. Today, let’s remember that we became independent in the first place to exercise religious freedom, independent thought, and the respect for each and every one of us to be distinct and independent. What ever happened to that?

Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about. xo

Off-Beat Porn: Leather & Pinstripes

Okay, we’ve covered the suit fetish, which is fairly well-known. We all know about the foot fetish, which definitely extends to dress shoes and men’s hosiery, although that part is completely lost on me. The gloves, the shoes, the couch… all black leather. It might not be lost on you, so find out. Check out this clip of very specific, completely SFW, and beautifully-produced, off-beat porn.

Your Sex Tool box, Part 1 - The Basics

There’s an ominous looking black steel tool box in our bedroom. We bought it to centralize all the sex stuff and free up some space in our nightstands. It’s locked so that anything inside doesn’t scare the cleaning lady. It’s the sex toolbox, and you should have one.

Choose a good-sized tool box, because once you start with this it’s going to be fun and you’re going to need space. Choose metal. Plastic toolboxes may interact with lubes, poppers, and dildos the way rubber worms used to melt into the trays of that tackle box you had as a kid. Make sure you have a home for it that is convenient and practical. Buy some felt dots for the bottom of it if you have hardwood floors. Trust me. Here’s what goes in it:

Off-Beat Porn: Suits

This is easily one of the most interesting videos I’ve found on YouTube. With over 18,000 views, and totally SFW, I promise you that somebody finds this intensely erotic. Maybe you.

The Return of Conny Van Dyke

I’m not saying where. I’m not saying when. Yet.

But… my Mom, Conny Van Dyke, is back.  Stay tuned.

Off-Beat Porn: Muscle Worship

I’ve recently rediscovered, on YouTube, a load of videos that show far less anatomy than anything in our porn collection. They don’t even get their shorts off. They’re muscle worship videos, and this jaded, seen-it-all porn aficionado is happy to report that “less filling” tastes great. One’s imagination, or ability to fetishize body parts, is powerful enough to turn a SFW vid clip like the one below with Zeb Atlas and Mark Dalton, into something surprisingly, er, uh, satisfying.  Here’s the clip.

Happy Together: Mom & Dad

Some time ago, Mom had some home movies converted to DVD, and gave it to me. I took the videos, and combined them with their song, The Turtles’ Happy Together, and made this clip. Enjoy.

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Blue Sky: 15 Years Ago This Weekend

This is what I was doing on 4th of July weekend 15 years ago, dancing the Malagueña in Tony Richardson’s last film, Blue Sky. Wow.  Time flies.  Enjoy the clip.

more about “15 Years Ago This Weekend“, posted with vodpod